Slender Turk
by kenkenspatz
Summary: Yuffie has convinced the entire orphanage that Rude is a monster with eight arms and eats children. Can the Turks clear their names? No Pairings. Oneshot. Slenderman fans I hope you enjoy this!


**Hello everyone! I was recently introduced to the internet meme known as Slender Man, and I thought how a mischievous ninja would scare all the kids at Tifa and Cloud's orphanage. Hehe… **

**Anyways, Square-Enix owns Final Fantasy VII and Victor Surge owns Slenderman. **

**Enjoy! **

**Slender Turk**

This was the final straw. Not only had the ninja taken the joke way too far, and to add insult to injury, all of the kids were scared to go near him. Not only was it hard enough as it was to get back on Strife and Lockhart's good side, this setback could surely sever the fragile alliance that the Turks had with Avalanche.

Wonderful.

Rude sighed as he massaged his temples. A large sum of fake cash had accumulated on his desk. Each of the colorful stacks of money were all in twenties. There was also a note.

_Dear Rude,_

_Here is twenty dollars from all of the kids so you won't eat them. Kids have pretty interesting imaginations, don't they? _

_Don't strain your arms too much—and by that, I mean all eight of them._

_Sincerely,_

_Yuffie_

Tseng examined all of the money without expression. Elena found it hard to suppress a giggle or two. Reno was trying to figure out the positives. Rufus rolled his eyes at the ninja's stupidity.

"Hey, at least when you come around, Tifa won't have to babysit," Elena teased.

"What is the ninja thinking?" Tseng said, emotionless. "We really don't need this setback right now—especially since we've made peace with Avalanche."

Rufus nodded. "I agree. Let's set the record straight. If our company is coming back, then there needs to be good things said about it and the employees."

Rude nodded. Retrieving his sunglasses from under his desk, he also grabbed the keys to the corporate vehicle. Reno followed him out the door.

* * *

The drive to Edge was short. Stepping out of the car, the two Turks came face to face with the bar's bright logo.

"Wonder where the kids are," Reno mused as he lit a cigarette.

Rude shrugged. After the red-headed Turk took the last drag, they both headed inside to clear their names.

Seventh Heaven was unusually empty for this time of day. Tifa was behind the counter tidying up the dishes when she spotted the two. Her gaze was questioning. Realizing why they were here, a small smile plastered her features.

"So…what will it be, Slenderman?" she asked.

Rude shook his head in annoyance. Reno laughed. "Lighten up, big guy."

Tifa set the dishes down and dried her hands. "You're here for kids, right? They're out back. So help me if you eat them."

With the light-hearted warning in mind, the two men exited the bar and entered the playground.

All of the kids stopped playing instantly. Everything was so silent and tense, that tumbleweed was bound to appear out of nowhere and skid across the concrete. All of kids stood still, unsure of what to do.

A single voice shattered the silence from the top of the jungle gym. "It's the Slenderman kids! Run for your lives!"

All hell broke loose.

Laughing hysterically as the situation unfolded, Yuffie Kisaragi found it hard to control herself. She promptly fell off of the structure. Her peals of laughter increased.

The kids ran around the playground, bumping into each other and tripping over each other's toys. Some kids hid under the equipment and were crying nonstop. How Tifa managed this, the Turks would never know.

"I don't want to die!"

"I haven't had dinner yet!"

"I never had the chance to kiss Mr. Cloud!"

"We're all gonna die!"

Amidst the chaos and confusion, Marlene stepped forward from the crowd and towards the two Turks. All of kids watched in horror as she got closer.

"Don't do it Marlene!"

"Denzel's heart is going to be broken!"

"Does this mean I get your ribbon?"

Marlene crossed her hands in front of her in a very lady-like pose. She smiled at the two Turks and curtsied. "Hello Mr. Rude. Hello Mr. Reno."

Reno smiled as he knelt down and picked Marlene up. The kids shifted uncomfortably. Marlene's sweet voice rang out.

"You see? I told you that these guys aren't evil. Look, I'll prove that Mr. Rude doesn't have eight arms."

She asked Reno to put her down and then she held out her tiny hand to Rude. Accepting the gesture, he gently shook her hand.

Marlene was beaming. Placing both hands on her hips, she declared a verdict.

"Mr. Rude isn't the Slenderman! Yuffie was lying to us!"

Her laughter abruptly ended, all of the kids turned to face the ninja with angry faces. Before any of the kids could run after her, she disappeared with a smoke bomb.

* * *

"How did the mission go?" Rufus asked the two as they came back to Heal Inn. Reno's face had a sly smirk across it, while Rude was still tense.

"Mission successful, boss," the red head replied. "All of the kids no longer believe that Rude is the Slendy-whatever. That Marlene is something."

Rude nodded. After a long day, he excused himself and retired to his room. After slipping into his pajamas, a strange sight distracted his thoughts.

As he looked out of the window, a tall figure in a tuxedo stood there. Even though the apparition had no facial features, Rude could tell that is was amused, somehow.

To his surprise, the apparition doubled over in silent laughter. After wiping invisible tears from its face with one of its many arms, it disappeared without a trace.

No amount of training had prepared Rude for this.

**Well, there you go! There are many variations of the Slender Man myth if any of you are interested in finding out more about him. **

**I've not seen Marble Hornets and probably never will—my view of Slenderman is that he is misunderstood and actually friendly! But meh…I just keep telling myself that XD**

**Anyway, review and tell me what you think! **

**kenkenspatz**


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